((The word "goodbye" holds no significance in my reality anyways.))

One day, you're going to see it my way. A light bulb is going to flicker on and you'll finally understand what I'm talking about.
But until that day you'll just continue to annoy me with your constant misery.

My problem with you doesn't lie in who you are or what you do. It's who you're trying to be and what you're not going to do. You're miserable. You're unhappy. You hate where you are and on top of that, you're fake and insecure in the worst of ways. Your problem lies in your inability to get over things. You dwell and dwell and dwell until whatever's bothering you consumes you and takes over, ruining not only your day but everyone elses. You're running on some sick, masochistic, drive that feeds you misery in return for attention and the more attention you're giving it, the more miserable you're getting. Its a correlation you're never going to acknowledge and the Freud in me wishes you knew what it meant when I say, "You're letting the Id control you." It only bothers me so much because you're living, breathing, walking, talking, crying, bitching, moaning proof that misery loves company (and quite frankly, you're cliche enough as it is).


To avoid dwelling on such a miserable subject, let's talk goodbye.

The verdict is in, and I've decided saying goodbye is worse than someone just leaving unannounced.

You see, when you say goodbye you’re forcing yourself to be okay with someone going away. You’re trying to make yourself ready for something you really aren’t ready for. Now perhaps they just leave without saying goodbye- without setting a date. Just up and gone! Now you really think you’re a mess, because you “didn’t get to say goodbye”. But really, I think this is the way to form a healthy attachment to someone; If you say goodbye, you’re leaving no room for a struggle. Both people feel like what’s done is done and learn to move on. But if you don’t say goodbye, then there’s a lingering attachment that leaves you striving to stay connected. To always want and need this person to be just one call or text away. Without saying goodbye, you challenge yourself to have hope and to see someone again.
This is how you say “see you later”. This is how you say “stay in my life”.

I suppose my little theory doesn't work well when it comes to people dying, but thats an entirely different cup of chai. I believe I've done enough ranting, though I'm not sure this blog will suffice for a month of absence. I'm getting used to this writing-all-the-time-thing again, and with so much to say I often find myself saying nothing at all.

I'll work on it.