words, words, words.

I want to know if there’s a word that just rubs you the wrong way- makes you uncomfortable and anxious and distraught no matter where you hear it.

For me, it’s the word “ambition”. Dictionary.com defines ambition as “an earnest desire for some type of achievement or distinction, as power, honor, fame, or wealth, and the willingness to strive for its attainment” but the word means so much more to me. When you grow up around a certain word, and you constantly hear it used to describe you it gets implanted in your brain and starts to grow, much like a tumor. Over time, this tumor becomes malignant and infests all your thoughts, your dreams, and your free time. What’s worse is I know this tumor has outgrown my own ambitious nature and has developed a violently ardent nature of its own. The side effects of this? Nothing short of self doubt and a terrible fear of failure. It started out with simply questioning myself as to whether or not I am ambitious enough, but as the tumor grows so does the self analysis. Suddenly I don’t find myself ambitious at all and take any and every opportunity I can to challenge myself to be more ambitious. I set ridiculous goals, the kind you don’t say out loud because other people “just don’t understand”, and I become hell bent on proving to myself I can achieve them, no matter how miniscule and trivial these goals are. It’s an addicting game to play, especially when the only person playing is you. But enough about how I react to this word, I’m much more curious as to what words tick other people off because I find it obvious why the word “ambition” gets such a reaction out of me only I’m not sure if that reason is so obvious to other people. Tell me your word. I want to know your word, your tumor, your side effects. The good natured, curious learner side of me is itching to compare and contrast reactions. But I have to be honest when I say the twisted, dejected side of me just wants to get inside your head for a quick fix.

Humor me.