I have what most would call an "issue" with being passive-aggressive. I keep all this stuff to myself instead of asking questions or saying what I'm thinking and then I get to this point where I can feel every little thing inside my head take over my body. I get tense and angry and stressed plus a whole mess of even more emotions but no matter how uncomfortable everything is, I keep my mouth shut. Most of the time I don't say anything because 1. I don't want to overreact over trivial things 2. a lot of what I keep to myself would destroy any sort of image anyone might have of me and 3. I know that the chances of me saying what's in my head in a polite and understandable manner are very slim.
Keeping everything to myself is the smart thing to do. It's safer for everyone else and it's safer for me. Still, sometimes I wish I would just speak. I don't know why I find it so difficult. Actually, I'm pretty sure I do know why I find it difficult but I'm not going to get into that.
The point here is I've got a lot going on in my head right now. More than I let on and more than I want to admit, but it's there. It sounds stupid to say I'm fragile to be around right now, but it's as close to the truth as I can get.
I'm much like a volcano.
I have all this hot lava coursing through my veins, waiting for a chance to just explode and burn the masses.
I'm going to have to tip-toe carefully for the next few days to prevent a natural disaster.
1 Comments, Questions, and Concerns:
it's easiest to speak your mind to a stranger. to open up to someone you've just met and will likely never see again. to know this person has no preconceived notions of who or what you are, it's freeing and exhilarating. of course, it's a bit difficult to start up a conversation like that with a stranger, but not impossible.
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