“I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone,

but they've always worked for me.”

-Hunter S. Thompson

Safe, safe, safe. All this routine is way too safe for me. I'm not saying I'm going to call in sick to work so I can go base jumping off waterfalls or ditch school to shoot up with homeless men, but I'm not saying I wouldn't. (Okay, maybe not homeless men but you get the idea.) I'm just so sick of this routine; wake up, rush to school, sit through class, rush home, do what little homework I can, get ready for work, go to work, get off work around eleven, come home, do some more homework, sleep horribly for a few hours and then wake up only to wash, rinse, and repeat. It's so tedious, and as I have said many times, I really miss my friends. But aside from that, I miss being uncomfortable. All of this is too fucking comfortable for me to handle. It's all so routine and usual and normal, all of which are, in my opinion, synonymous to boring. 

And when things get boring and routine I start looking at plane tickets, train schedules, far away places, and of course those other kinds of things that would allow me to get away without actually having to get away. I look for things I've never done, places I've never been, things I've never tried; dangerous things, dangerous places. 

I crave uncomfortable.

I crave new. 

I crave unusual.

You know what really tipped me over about all this though? Today, at work, I realized I know a lot more customer's orders by heart than I originally thought. I understand that when working at a coffee shop it is nearly impossible to avoid knowing certain people's drinks, but think of what these people are called: regulars. Some of them even know me by name. It's too comfortable and routine and I don't care if I sound like a brat, I really just don't like it. I would be okay with it if, you know, I had some variety in my life. But no. All I have is this god damned routine.

I'm not going to lie, over the past week or so I realized (and came to terms with the fact) that I like attention (in moderation of course). And what's more than that, I am sick of the attention I am getting; the attention a student gets from a professor, a daughter from her parents. Hell, I'll even go so far as to say that I'm growing antsy with the attention a friend receives from a friend. I hate when things get to a point where they just sort of stop because everyone involved is comfortable or okay with routine or whatever.

Things get boring, and I get antsy. I want some spice.

Call me a brat.

Call me selfish.

Call me an attention whore.

I want something different and unusual and abnormal.

I want a different kind of attention.

I want out-of-the-norm, unhealthy, adrenaline pumping, mind boggling whatever that's going to make me blush and make it hard to sit still.

...all of which is otherwise known as fun.