Can we please take a second to pause this tedious story to talk about something that no one wants to talk about?

Sadness, loneliness, depression, melancholy; whatever you want to call it, we all feel it. It's there, and it sucks, and we hate it and we like to forget about it when it's not there but the fact of the matter is that it's inevitable.

There is always so much opportunity to be let down.

There is always so much opportunity for our own indulgences to hurt us.

It is impossible to go unscathed by the claws of the lowest emotion we know how to feel.

...that last sentence didn't come out right, so let me start somewhere else.

You see, once you're sad or depressed or whatever the only thing that makes sense is waiting to hit rock bottom. Naturally, you're first instinct is to fight it and then the next best idea is to figure out what's causing it and get rid of it. Unfortunately, none of that matters or works or proves to be any kind of useful in the long run.

Sometimes the best thing to do is to take a deep breath, look someone in the eye and show them the scars or cuts or tear tracks staining your cheeks. Sometimes it's best to just sit with someone and tell them you're writing about how much your life really fucking sucks at the moment without letting them read any of the details.

And you know what the shittiest part is? Sometimes even those efforts are just as futile as any of the others.

I suppose I'm too inebriated to even get where I'm trying to go without being direct about a lot of things. I realize I could just suck it up and pour my heart into this thing, but that's not what I want.

What I want is to know that other people are just as human- if not more- than I am.

What I need is to feel like I'm not alone in this never ending war against the ruthless workings of the nature I am a victim to.

I need another human. I need someone- anyone- to tell me "hey, guess why my life sucks..." and then make me see that this suffering I feel I'm always going to be going through isn't as abnormal as therapists and doctors tell me it is.

It's not always about one's disorders; sometimes it's simply about one's willingness to accept that they can not be a consistent human being, and neither can anyone else.

Consistency is for robots.

And sobriety is for people who are afraid of the truth.

I'm shutting up now because clearly I am talking about things that I can't even follow right now.

Goodnight. I hope I wake up in the morning....kind of.