"Do you suppose she's a wildflower?"

I can handle people not liking me. And I can handle people being mad at me. But I can not handle feeling forgotten. I think being forgotten is my biggest fear. If someone can forget me it means I haven't made any sort of impact on their life. It means they don't need me. Or don't want me. It's not a good feeling.
Same thing goes for being replaced and ignored.

But now that I've stepped off my soap box, let's get down to business.

It's 7 'o' clock here. Amidst a pathetic thunderstorm, I've turned on the television only to be greeted by lovely tornado warnings.

I've never liked T.V.'s.

The apartment is strangely silent and though I wasn't sure I liked it for the first few minutes I'm positive its exactly what I've needed. The chaos that comes with the people I've met here is insanely overwhelming. I miss the sound of the ocean. I miss the sirens that scream down Kuhio. I miss the pop music blaring from the 10th floor of the Ohia. And I really miss the obnoxious, belligerent, chain smoking friends I left on December 19th, 2007. It's sad to think I can remember the last days I saw any of them who mattered to me he 16th, the 17th, and the 19th. Its even more sad to think of the people I didn't really get to see before I left. I don't get attached to people like this.

"I'm sure one day you will."

Yes, you were right, but fuck you all the same.

I can't wait to get back.

I am having fun here though! I mean, it's hard not to. I'm constantly surrounded by amazing people. I love my job. And theres plenty here to keep me busy. It's just not Hawaii. The girls aren't the same. The boys aren't the same. The atmosphere is no where near the same. I need some aloha.