With everything falling apart the way it is, I have this undying urge to apologize to anyone and everyone: only I'm not sure exactly what I need to apologize for? Maybe it's this feeling I can't shake...the one that tells me it's only going to get even messier from here; the one that tells me it's time to let everyone get out while they can.

I don't see why that calls for an apology, but at the moment that's all I need to say.

I'm sorry.

Perhaps I'm apologetic for everything I've done (or haven't done) that led me to where I am now.

Perhaps I'm apologetic for everything that might happen as a result of what's going on now.

I don't know!

I don't know!

I don't know!

It's frustrating as hell...and as much as I know I need friends right now, I'm not comfortable with it. I don't want anyone else to have to see what might happen from here. I got myself into this and I don't think anyone else needs to be dragged in.

And you know what? That's probably what I'm sorry for.